Standup Pictures!


So… Friday night I did a standup gig with a group of my friends and it was pretty alright! Up there is me and my friend Coby.


1506040_840487412632509_5654938969278732570_n I sat down at one point, but I don’t look like I’m very uncomfortably pooping for the whole time.


10155074_10202664132579346_2440111237741001738_n I stood too.

But, yeah I had fun. I always have fun going up. It’s just a thing that I do now.

So blogging about these pictures of me is kind of a hard thing to do because I feel like I’m being forced to do it, and creativity, love, and passion are hard to squeeze out when under pressure.

The remaining words will be a semi-related vent/rant.
High school is ripe with drama and angst never left. The average life of a student you don’t know or unfavored teachers life feels comparative to that of a mosquito. Not that you can swat them away easily, it’s just that they’re there and you know the blood is being sucked out of you. I’m in a rough spot right now. Maybe they can tell that though. Circles under my eyes get bigger every day, my jokes seem to be getting less and less funny while drifting toward dark thoughts and morbid parallels of reality. I’m out of my groove. The moon has left my life, but not before slapping me twice. A new rainbow mind has been delicately tip-toeing toward me, this is not without the tease of chase or the thrill of the hunt. But I hope in the future things will be better.


A Failed Atempt at being D.J.

I DJ’d a college Halloween party. By midnight, a bunch of locals had come in off of the street. It was obvious who was a student and who was a local. The newcomers were there to rage and before too long the dance floor was out of control. I tried to control things by reigning in the energy level with slower songs but the crowd would literally explode in anger every time I played anything but club rap.

Now, you are probably asking yourself, “self, why did this guy not want a high energy dance floor…isn’t that his job?” Just keep in mind that drinks were being spilled, less aggressive people were getting pushed off the floor and the level of testosterone in the room made fights an inevitability. When you have thousands of dollars of gear in a small room with a hundred drunk, sweaty randos, safety concerns start to become important.

I wasn’t surprised when the fight started…but I was surprised by who it involved and what it was about: a clearing opened in the middle of the floor as a large, local man screamed at a smaller, female student that had apparently stepped on his shoe. “Don’t think I won’t f*** you up cuz you’s a bitch!” Immediately I moved to intervene before realizing how much equipment I would have to replace if the guy had friends nearby.

Luckily for everyone, someone came to intervene almost immediately. It was a costume party and our intrepid hero was wearing nothing but a fig leaf. In the midst of the angry man’s insane tirade, the fig-wearing fellow stepped between the man and the woman and proceeded to gyrate suggestively, basically grinding on the other guy in the most exaggerated homoerotic manner imaginable. Neither man said a word…where before he had been ready to fight at the drop of a hat, the man abruptly turned tail and left the party, clearly embarrassed and confused.

Things I did over Spring Break!

1. Breath

2. Eat

3. Move

4. Sleep

5. Look

6. Touch

7. Smell

8. Marathon Buffy The Vampire Slayer

9. Think

10. Cogitate

11. Cerebrate

12. Imagine

13. Ideate

14. Concieve

15. Google synonyms of think

16.Be facetious on a blog post

17. Try to reach minimum word count

19. Skip numbers

20. Write jokes

21. Go to L.A.

22. Do some open mikes

23. Make sandwiches

24. Lie

25. Regret

26. Get over it

27. Write more jokes

28. Make eggs (scrambled and microwaved)

29. Break necks

30. Kill egos

31. Fight dolphin cyberbullying

32. Is cyberbullying like, a real word?

33. I’m out of ideas at this point

34. Violence

35. Rock music

36. Dimes

37. Rhymes

38. Times

39. Limes

40. The number fourty

41. How many calories in a cubic light year of butter????
5.7×1054 Cal (dietary Calories)


42. Math

43. Not homework

44. Look at the stars

45. Go to amusement parks alone, while listening to heavy metal

46. Spilled some tic-tacks today it was a tic-tacident

47. Accidentally blew up my house by trying to mix pasta with antipasta

48. Make up words

49. Draw

50. Watch bad movies

51. Yell at netflix

52. I did what everyone said a kid COULDN’T do! I made it to Shell City, and I beat the Cyclops, and I rode the Hasselhoff, and I brought the crown BACK!

53. So, yeah, I’m a kid! And I’m also a goofball! And a wing nut! And a Knucklehead McSpazatron!

54. But most of all, I’m… I’m… I’M… I’M A GOOFY GOOBER!

55. ROCK!

56. My iPod was drowned in the toilet yesterday, just like Spanish trade-ship was drowned by Pirates in the Carribean long time ago

58. I only trust people that like big butts.

59. because they cannot lie.

60. Word count.



Charlie (2)

The loss of Charlie has left us all with holes in our hearts. He was a tremendous friend who never stopped at anything to make someone smile or laugh and we need more people like him who don’t care what someones background is or how successful they are and instead just loves everyone no matter what. I have read lots of posts about Charlie and in every one of them we mention how supportive he was to us: always giving out generous compliments and words of wisdom. Describing someone as amazing as Charlie is not something that any amount of words can do justice to but I’ll try. He was the most happy, optimistic, supportive friend everyone could ever have. He was a tremulously talented artist and we all wished we could draw like him. He was one of the few kids who i just knew would go on to do something great with his life and deeply impact others. And while his life was cut far too short, and we may never know why he took his own life, but he left an impact on all of us to strive for what we care about most and pursue our dreams no matter how odd our passion may be. His passing is real wake up call to go and do what we want to do and be happy with our lives. No matter who you are Charlie loved you and would want you to do what you want with your life. I also want you to know that I love you and hope you succeed in whatever it is you want to pursue and know that I’m rooting for you! I also feel we in honor of Charlie should give more compliments to each other to show our love and support in our endeavors whatever they may be. Everyone is beautiful and no one can say otherwise! You have the power to choose where you go and what you become. You have the power to make a difference in the world no matter how small you think you are a bunch of snowflakes together make an avalanche. And don’t waste your time trying to be someone else because the world already has one of them and what the world needs is a you! I apologize for my word vomit I’m not the best with words but we will get through this together. Charlie will live on in all of hearts and minds. I’ll see you in another life brother!


The day you lose a friend for the first time, is certainly a day not forgotten. It’s not my first time loosing one who is truly an amazing person, but this one hurts deep. Whoever reads this crappy blog won’t know who I’m talking about but I do. And he will not be easily forgotten.

I had the pleasure of meeting you at Buck’s Rock in 2011. During that time I was going through a Harry Potter craze, and I remember you drawing a picture of Harry, Ron and Hermione. It was so incredible and I think you were worried it wasn’t good enough. But I saw the talent and effort being put into it and I thought ‘how could anything get better than that piece of art?’. When I first heard of this, and I can’t quite find a term to put for what this is, that drawing popped up.
I remember you and Otis being best friends and occasionally popping up places and being hilarious. I wish I could remember more. You deserve more. You deserve a concrete memory.
I don’t know the why or the how, but I hope you’re in a better place, where art can be expressed without pressure and no one minds if people wear panda hats during the excruciating hot summer.

I really wish I was given the chance to talk to you more because even within the short amount of time we did converse, I knew that you were unique, wonderful, smart, and dedicated. Even though we had just met, you were so warm towards me and hugged me as any long-time friend would. When some of us were down because of Stanford, you took the time and care to bring smiles to our faces and provide us with your insight – no price could quantify how precious and amazing that is. Although I don’t know you that well, I still wish and hope that you are in a better place.

Charlie, a facebook post seems like such an insignificant thing to remember you by, but it’s all I got. You were a good friend. You were a good person. You, will never be forgotten. I only wish we could have been closer friends, but when I see you again in the next life I’ll make sure you know you’re appreciated. In conversation, you never failed to make me smile, and you never failed to make us laugh. We’ve lost a good friend. We’ve lost a good person. We, will never forget you, my friend. I’ll see you soon I’m sure.


It can make you laugh.

It can make you cry

It is the funniest cartoon web series ever.

It is Cyanide and Happiness.

Escapist Magazine says this about C&H!

“The art style in Cyanide and Happiness is… interesting, to say the least. Art styles vary from comic to comic depending on which on of the writers (Dave, Kris, or Matt,) and each of them also has a different joke style. Kris has more hunched over, “quaint” characters that use not-so-badd words like “golly” and typically have more slap-stick humor. Dave uses characters like the one above (which is one of his, if I’m correct) and frequently hits you with AIDS jokes that are surprisingly funny. Matt has a combination of the two, using Kris-like characters and Dave-like humor. All together, their comics make a hilarious contrast that anyone can appreciate. Also, they make some animated shorts, most of which are well-voiced and animated.

NOTE: I forgot Rob, who makes more subtle jokes with a cleaner artstyle.”

In my opinion C&H is just straight up amazing. It combines elements of ridiculous absurdest humor and equal parts in your face stirred up with a dash of BLAM, SPLAT, and the ever popular: KRABLAKOW.

C&H now has multiple books out and a great slew of online cartoons to check out, it also has some hilarious merchandise and very comfortable t-shirts. If I was a Giraffe I would still wear the shirt, why is that relevant? I don’t know.

My Full South Park Rant

South Park

South Park is the unequivocal, set standard for raunchy late night animation comedy. The intelligent creators of the show Trey Parker and Matt Stone developed the show off of two animated clips that can be found here and here. Matt and Trey later were picked up and started to create the adult animated sitcom for Comedy Central. Beginning with the episode “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe”.

This show is littered with humor, it ‘s possible to watch the show and not stop laughing for an entire episode, alls you need is an observant mind. The show is also filled with great characters, such as Stan Marsh (my personal favorite) who’s antics wind him and his son up usualy in prison, and sometimes Mexico. And of course Towlie.

(Rich white guy laugh) AHhahahaha…oh towlie don’t ever change.


This great show really holds a place in my heart, I am a gigantic fan of South park, and will defend the crude and vulgar tv show that I have come to love with intense fervor. All episodes of the show are available online…for completely free! This is a gigantic contributing factor. I am able to watch almost any South Park episode on the show’s website found here. The entire series can also be viewed on netflix, including the awesome movie South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut. So if you’re interested in poop, pirates, pilates or any topic of modern culture I suggest that you check this out.